5 tips to raise Resilient Kids

5 Tips to raise Resilient Kids

Everyone has spoken, and even speaking, about the resilience the kids have shown in the series of lockdowns and curfews. When their active social world (attending school, going on playdates, generally playing with friends, etc.) has turned into a digital world, they are still able to cope with support from their parents. The lesson parents can learn from this situation is that children naturally have a resilient nature. But only we parents are wittingly or unwittingly destroying it and then trying to enroll our kids into various classes and sessions to convert them into resilient kids.

5 Tips to raise Resilient Kids

Resilience in Early Years:

The child is born resilient only. Otherwise, he wouldn’t be able to crawl or walk, let alone learn the different life skills he has to learn during the growing-up years. But, then, we see so many teenage kids and even adults running away from problems and taking a step back when they face adversity. Some people might even take extreme steps when adversity knocks on their door.

Have you ever wondered why this is happening? The fault lies with us, the parents, solely for this situation in which kids are not able to face their lives with equanimity. Whether you believe it or not, this is the hard-hitting and bitter-tasting pill that all parents have to swallow these days. That’s one of the primary reasons why most parents keep searching for tips to raise resilient kids.

In all our love and affection, we never let our children face any problems or let them struggle on their own. How many of you would have rushed to tie your child’s shoelaces when he was struggling as a toddler? Let me accept my mistake here; even I did it till the time my child joined a Montessori school. Only after being introduced to all the Montessori parenting techniques did I realize the importance of my kid struggling and conquering every single task.

That’s the reason why this blog aims to discuss the tips that parents should remember not to do so that they can safeguard the inherent resilience in their kids.

Tips to Raise the Resilient Kids:

Don’t pass on our anxieties and insecurities to the kids: Kids are good observers who take cues from our faces and body language. That’s why our kids tend to pick up that anxiousness even when we are anxious. So, we need to become mentally strong and capable of handling our anxieties and insecurities in a positive way.

Why Resilience is the most needed trait for Kids?

Don’t jump to help them: Whenever our kids struggle with any task, we as parents need to practice restraint and wait for them to approach us for help. Sometimes, the kids can conquer the task at hand on their own without our help at all. That’s when their self-confidence levels will bloom.

Don’t provide all the answers: Even though we know the answers to their questions or problems, don’t be the answer provider for them. Let them research and come up with a solution. This will help the kids deal with the uncertainty and the potential challenges they might face while solving it. This will help in building their problem-solving skills.

Don’t brush off their feelings: Kids are also little human beings who do have feelings. Instead of brushing them off and making them do the things we want, we need to make the kids aware that we respect their feelings. Once the kids understand that their parents respect their feelings and emotions, they will keep their communication channels open with us. That way, we can really help them when they are in dire need.

Don’t hide your fears or your kid’s fears under the pillows: Most of us have some or other fears in life. Instead of having fear and not being willing to take the risk to overcome those fears, we need to show the kids that we do face those fears head-on and conquer them. That will help the kids to face their fears heads on.

Characteristics of Resilient Kids:

Once we stop doing the above things, then slowly, over a period of time, we can observe that our kid’s resilient mindset is bouncing back. The following are the characteristics of resilient kids.

5 tips to raise Resilient Kids

Highly confident: They know they can easily handle any situation or problem.

Good Problem-solving skills: They know they are competent enough to handle challenges or situations. They have the confidence that they will find their way out.

They have strong connections to people around them: They have strong relationships with their friends and family members, as they feel safe and protected in their own network.

Contributors: They all have the confidence that they are doing something good for their team, themselves, or even the world in the bigger picture. They want to be part of everything and make their voice heard.

Compassionate: These kids are highly compassionate and are able to understand others’ feelings easily. This comes naturally to them, as they are able to identify various emotions and feelings within themselves.

Coping Skills: They have excellent coping mechanisms to keep themselves safe and sane during any adversity.

Resilient kids have a wonderful growth mindset and good confidence. So encouraging the kids to develop them by not overreacting or passing our insecurities to them is the best way to build their resilience.

Suhasini, IP, is the Author of the book “Practical Tips for Kids Mental Health.” As a certified kids and parents life coach, she helps/guides you toward a happy family life for your kids. She firmly believes that “Emotionally Happy Kids of today are the Mentally Strong and Happy Citizens of tomorrow.” Let’s make the world a happy and beautiful place for our kids to thrive.


  1. A very good post underscoring the message “The lesson parents can learn from this situation is that by nature the children have a resilience nature.”

    Rajeev Moothedath

    1. Thank you Rajeev. Yes, we are only cuddling and comforting our kids so much that we are killing all their natural instincts

  2. Resilience is a wonderful quality to have and as parents our over-caring behaviour can crush that in kids. Helping them all the time or providing them answers for everything must indeed be consciously avoided.

    1. True Varsha. We think we are helping them at that moment, but we are spoiling their future in the long term.

  3. Resilient kids are always optimistic, hopeful and strong. Truly said kids have shown this side during lockdown by being co-operative and staying positive.

  4. This is such an important post from you once again. All parents need to understand and read this. Lockdown has made it even more difficult for everyone.
    Deepika Sharma

  5. It is so important that we value their feelings. It goes a long way

  6. Well said Leha. Thank you

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