5 Top Common Behavioral Problems in Children

How many of us really agree with the fact that children are also small individuals, and they do have the need to express their emotions periodically? Most of us agree with this point, isn’t it? But the problem comes when the children don’t know how to express their emotions or when they feel that they are getting submerged under that huge wave of emotions. That’s when we as adults label them as children with behavioral problems rather than trying to understand what is really going on in their little minds. This blog discusses the common behavioral problems in children and also cautions at what time we as parents have to consult the experts for further guidance in resolving the behavioral problems in kids.

Our Story:

As most of you know by now, I have a highly energetic eight-year-old boy at home. He is a strong-willed boy with a very sensitive heart, which makes it a deadly combination. My usual style as a person is to raise my voice in anger and start shouting, but that doesn’t work with my child. There are many more ways in which we differ from each other. But at the same time, we just can’t keep out of each other’s hair. We are so used to pulling and pricking each other till the time we get exhausted.

My child used to exhibit so many extremities from time to time. But those traits would go off within a short duration. But the lockdown period proved totally different. His behavior has become so erratic, and I started to get worried as a parent. But, I was sure at that point in time that those were some minor problems that would go as naturally as they came. One fine day, all of a sudden, he started using bad words without any initiation from us. Where he picked up these words is also a question mark to us in the initial days. Later we realized that the culprits were the screens and gadgets. As a single child under lockdown, the gadgets have become his best buddy sorts. As we were trying to minimize the screen addiction, other concerns, as I mentioned above, kept occupying my mind. Only after attending my Kid’s Life Coaching workshops did I understand the basic causes of my child’s behavioral traits.

Common Behavioral Problems in Children

Children are always naughty and trying to test the boundaries imposed by parents. So a few tantrums here and there, arguments, not paying attention to our words, or being defiant toward us are quite common in kids. Even if they become a daily occurrence, we need not have to really become overly concerned as long as we understand the root causes of their outbursts like this. The following are a few common behavioral traits exhibited by children at various ages.

Lying:

Most children would start lying once they start articulating their feelings. At that time, they used mostly lies as the creative extensions of their stories. But as they grow older, they resort to lies to either gain attention or escape a tricky situation. In most often cases, we can definitely see through their lies. Instead of calling it a lie at that point in time and taking him to task, just let that situation pass. Later we need to explain to him the consequences of lying, and also, we need to show the true role models.

The problem comes as a double-edged sword when the child catches us lying. We, as adults, use white lies to escape from tricky situations. So we must be cautious and establish a pattern of not using white lies in front of our kids. Even if our child catches us, we must accept our mistakes instead of brushing them off.

Abusive Language:

As stated earlier, this was our first problem with my kid. We have a zero-tolerance towards the usage of abusive language in our house. I guess most of you also would agree with my point here. But still, kids do get exposed to these abusive words outside our houses. We need to make the kids understand the real meanings of those words and how hurt other people would feel when those words are used on them. Once they understand the real consequences, strict ground rules about this language must be imposed and practiced at home by everyone.

Inattention:

All children struggle to focus from time to time, especially on subjects that don’t interest them. We need to watch out and understand the root causes of their inattention. If they are not motivated as they are not interested in that area or subject, try to increase their interest by sharing their childhood experiences. Narrate them the stories of inspiring leaders in different fields, so they can understand the struggles one must undergo before really making it big.

Physical aggression:

These days most children are not able to spend their energies fruitfully outside playing. So their pent-up energies are causing a lot of aggressive behavior issues in children. At times, the children are doing it without meaning to hurt others. They might just want to pat or hug the people, but being physically strong, their simple acts might hurt others. Sometimes they do this aggression with negative feelings to hurt others, which results in bullying.

The only way to stop this physical aggression is to have clear ground rules about the same at home. We need to talk to our children about the consequences of bullying and physical aggression from their toddler age.

Manipulation:

Kids are the best negotiators in the world. If they fail to get what they want, they start acting out, start throwing temper tantrums. This is the most common behavioral issue found in all kids. But as a parent, we need to establish a few ground rules and make the child understand that a “NO means NO” at any cost. No amount of bargaining or manipulation would yield the result they want. Earlier, this was a big issue in our house, and my child used to resort to a lot of manipulation, especially with his grandparents. Grandparents, the sweetest of all, would bend down to the kid’s demands.

After my child started attending the Montessori school, and we started applying those concepts at home. That resulted in a slow but positive outcome, as all of us started working as a big team now. So my kid knows at what time he can expect what. He wouldn’t be getting any intermediatory benefits unless those conditions are fulfilled.

How to Tackle the Behavioral Problems in Kids?

Behavioral problems in children can add to the stress of the entire family. The only way to avoid these issues is to adopt slow and positive parenting styles, which are consistent in nature. These parenting styles require a little more effort and time from us as parents. But this extra time spent by us would lead to a better and more balanced relationship with our children. We can provide them with a happy childhood due to this. The following are a few simple steps that we practice as a family at home.

We need to have a schedule and structure in the house for everyone

Have the rule board at home in a visible corner

Work along with the child to make him understand various emotions

Use positive open-ended praises, not just empty praises

Work as a team/family, not as supervisors to the child

Discuss the consequences upfront so that everyone is aware.

Recognize and appreciate positive behavior.

When to consult an Expert?

Parents with love and attention can address most of the common behavioral problems in children. The problems mentioned above are quite common in most children and go off with time. But, if your child is not responding to your actions and his problems are disrupting his studies and social interactions, then it’s a cause of worry for parents. That is the right time also to consult a pediatrician to rule out any medical conditions or mental health issues. Based on the pediatrician’s suggestions, we might have to consult a child psychologist or other expert for further evaluation.

Please share your experiences about handling common behavioral issues in children. Would be eager to learn your parenting lessons as well.