This is the seventh episode of the ASK A FRIEND series. In this episode, we discuss about the toddler’s behavioral issues like hitting, biting, and slapping. In the first case, let’s understand why the toddler hits/bites, or slaps. And what should be the mom or the primary caregiver’s response in that situation? How should you behave when your toddler is hitting/biting/slapping you or others?
But this incident has caused shame to the child and his emotions were hurt.Simplified Parenting and Emotionally Healthy Child Podcast Show
Tune into the podcast episode (either in Telugu or English) on the embedded player here now, or listen to it on any of your favorite podcast platforms. If reading is your forte, scroll down for the show’s transcript.
Podcast in English
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Podcast in Telugu
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Transcript of the Episode “When your toddler is hitting/biting/slapping you or others?”
Hi there, welcome back to the ASK A Friend Series under the Simplified Parenting and Emotionally Healthy Child podcast show. I am your host Suhasini from Mommyshravmusings.
Today’s topic is the result of an incident that happened in the park yesterday evening.
I went for my usual evening walk to the park; while doing rounds, I met my friend, started chatting, and slowed down. In the meantime, there was a commotion in the nearby play area, where the slides and swings were placed in the park for kids.
We rushed there, thinking some kid had fallen down and wanted to help. But what we witnessed is a different story altogether. One child has bitten another kid. And that kid who took the bite was so shocked and sat there in the corner with tears in his eyes and all the other mothers trying to comfort him. The mother of the boy who took the bite came to that scene along with us. Seeing that situation, she slapped her child and dragged him from there.
Now I have a couple of questions for you. As a mom of that child who took the bite, what would be your best reaction?
Do you appreciate that mother’s action? What do you think is the correct solution for this issue? Do you actually think that it’s an issue at all?
I totally empathize with that mom at that point in time; she got overwhelmed by the accusing glances of all the other parents in that play area. She would have also felt ashamed herself, as her child has taken that bite on another child. She got so frustrated with so many feelings that she took action on the child, slapped him, and removed him from the scene.
But this incident has caused shame to the child, and now that child doesn’t know how to react, or no one has taught him how to react when mistakes happen. That mother could have used this incident as an opportunity to teach that child without causing shame to him.
Talk softly and firmly to the child about why it’s not OK to bite or slap another child. Point towards the other child and make this child observe the pain the other child is going through. If the child is well connected to you, then you can make your child help the other child who is the victim in mitigating his/her pain. But most times, the child who has done wrong would take a strong, defiant stance and wouldn’t let mom touch him. In that case, the mom needs to act on behalf of that child to say sorry to that other child and help in alleviating his/her pain. Give first aid if required.
By doing this, it would teach the child two things.
- Hitting or biting is wrong. Causing pain to others is not at all a good idea, and we can’t take out our emotions on them.
- If we are frustrated or angry, or hungry, we need to express it to our parents or other caregiving adults so that they can help us.
I hope you liked today’s topic about how to react when your toddler is hitting/biting/slapping you or others. Please do share your comments. If you like these episodes, don’t forget to share them with your friends and subscribe to my newsletter.