Positive Parenting Tips: Labeling Kids – Why should we stop?

This is the first episode of the ASK A FRIEND series. In this episode, we discuss labeling kids – why should we stop? Most of us would have heard some or another label during childhood. Similarly, we are using one or another brand with our kids. This episode discusses the ill effects of labeling kids and how we can stop using them.

When you label your child, it becomes their identity, and they don’t want to go beyond that role.

Simplified Parenting Podcast show

Tune into the podcast episode (either in Telugu or English) on the embedded player here now, or listen to it on any of your favorite podcast platforms. If reading is your forte, scroll down for the show’s transcript.

Podcast in English

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Podcast in Telugu

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Transcript of the Episode Labeling the Kids – Why We Should Stop?

How many times would you have heard from different parents that their child is a shy, lazy, naughty, fatty, careless boy or a girl or even may be a good boy/girl, studious kid, or intelligent kid?

Those are the same labels we heard while growing up. And what were your thoughts while you heard them? For the positive labels like a good child, intelligent child, or sharp child …those kids would always feel that they have to keep up with that title. Hence they start drawing boundaries themselves to uphold that label. They would think and evaluate whether we do this; we would be called good kids or not.

I was called a bookworm when I was in school, so then automatically, I started thinking that even though I would like to go out and have fun by playing on the ground, other people would judge my reading skills; hence it’s better to stay at home and read.

The other kids who get the labels as shy kids or lazy kids stop believing in themselves. They wouldn’t think of going beyond that role. When Shrav was just five years old, a neighborhood uncle used to say HI to him, and the moment Shrav saw that uncle, he hid behind my back. Initially, even I was like you all, explaining to that uncle that he is a little shy and doesn’t want to say HI. Later, one day, I happened to observe Shrav’s face when I was using that shy label. So much sadness was there on his face; of course, it was there only for a few seconds, but when I observed it, it tugged my heart.

Later on, when I was reading a book to him, I casually asked him what it meant to be called a shy kid, as one character in that book was described as a shy boy. He told me it upsets him to be called a shy boy, as he likes talking to people. But the reason why he doesn’t speak to that uncle is that – that uncle’s baritone voice sounds like a big thunder to him. So he gets scared every time he hears that voice. So then we both worked with different pitches and voice modulations, and now he is no longer afraid of that uncle.

As a parent, it’s our first responsibility to provide them the route or pathway for the kids to come out of their fear and not tease them and label them so that they start believing in those labels forever in their life.

What do you think, my friends? Don’t you remember your childhood days, when you were labeled with some tag and how you felt the need to live up to that expectation or how hard you worked to come out of it? Now, can’t we all stop labeling our kids? Do let me know your thoughts.