This is the fifth episode of the ASK A FRIEND series. In this episode, we discuss the favorite peeve of parents. That’s about the lies the children keep telling while growing up. Let’s explore why children will lie and what we should do to stop the lying habit in kids.
Do you know that kids start telling social or white lies during elementary years (6-12 years)?
Tune into the podcast episode (either in Telugu or English) on the embedded player here now, or listen to it on any of your favorite podcast platforms. If reading is your forte, scroll down for the show’s transcript.
Podcast in English
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Podcast in Telugu
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Transcript of the episode “How to stop lying habit in Kids?”
Another typical complaint from the parents is about the lies their child tells. One of my friends, whom I met recently in the park, told me that she had lost all her trust in her twins, as they often keep telling lies.
Lies, sweet lies, white lies, social lies…different types of lies, aren’t they?
I know the small smile that’s coming on your face. But will you believe me if I tell you that lying is part and parcel of human growth?
As per child psychology, lying is a major milestone in mind development. At this stage, the child becomes aware that everyone will have different thoughts and will not be the same. They will start recognizing that each person is different from the others.
As these kids start growing up, their lies will also grow up. Initially, it would be their sweet, creative lies, as they can’t differentiate between reality and their creative world.
But slowly, they will start telling lies to gain more attention and love, which they might be missing for one or another reason, as the primary caregiving adult might be busy with work or younger siblings. Once they enter the school, they tell lies to escape reprimands or a tricky situation.
Once the kids reach elementary age, around 6-7 years, and they start understanding the emotions of other people, then they will start telling the social lies or the white lies to keep the other person happy.
But all these will go on as the kids grow up and mature. But for certain kids, it will not go, and they keep telling lies and will become perpetual liars or pathological liars. And most parents are afraid of this situation only. But my dear friends, that percentage of your child becoming one is negligible, and you have much time to correct it.
That’s where the storytelling helps. Most of us relished the stories we heard from our grandparents. Aren’t those stories laced with moral values and teach us the ill effects of lying? We need to spend time with the kids, teaching them the importance of telling the truth by sharing real-life incidents or stories that are age appropriate.
Now what should you do if you catch your child lying often? You need to make him understand that you can see through their lies and that you are there to help them solve that problem. Taking a problem heads on will help resolve it rather than trying the escape mantra by lying.
Scoring or punishing your child when you catch him lying, will break your child’s connection and trust in you. Hence he will start lying again and again to avoid the punishments.
Instead, if you can talk to your child after that incident is over and set boundaries about the consequences of lying with love and affection, then this constant lying from your child would reduce.
Also, if you tend to talk about his constant lying in front of him itself others, that would make him believe that he can get away with his lies. So please do avoid it.
I hope you liked today’s topic. Please do share your comments. If you like these episodes, don’t forget to share them with your friends.