Tips to raise an Emotionally Intelligent Child

5 Tips to Raise an Emotionally Intelligent Child

Experts all over the place are stressing the need for inculcating/developing Emotional Intelligence in children. In the earlier days, it was thought that a person who is successful academically would be able to survive any situation and will be happier and more successful in life. But nowadays, the world has turned into a highly competitive and aggressive playing field that requires more emotional intelligence and academic intelligence to succeed. As most children and youth are not equipped with these life skills, we are seeing a host of mental health issues in the current generations. That’s the reason why this blog discusses tips for raising an emotionally intelligent child.

What is an Emotional Intelligence?

As per the dictionary meaning, Emotional Intelligence is defined as the ability to understand, manage and express one’s feelings appropriately while respecting the feelings of others without causing problems to anyone. The person with this intelligence, popularly referred to as EQ, will have healthier relationships and is more likely to succeed in life. The following are the key traits that define Emotional Intelligence.

Tips to raise an Emotionally Intelligent Child

Self-awareness – means that we are aware of our own emotions, both positive and negative. We can identify the root cause for those emotions and how they can affect our behavior.

Self-management – means we can manage our emotions in a productive way to yield positive result. We are able to control our impulsive behaviors and are able to minimize the negative emotions which are not going to yield any positive result to us.

Empathy – we are able to identify the emotions in other people based on the non-verbal cues they are sending. We can empathize with them and use their emotional cues to recognize the power plays happening in a given group. So that way, we are able to develop healthy relationships with others.

Social Skills – As we are able to read the non-verbal cues in a group, we would be comfortable in groups and are able to steer them towards them the decision making

Intrinsic Motivation – Internal motivation is required for anybody’s success. Once we know our own emotions and the negative feelings associated, we will be able to overcome those negative feelings and would be able to succeed in the difficult tasks we set ourselves to achieve.

Benefits of having high EQ:

Though most experts and psychologists say that having a high EQ leads to the individual’s success, we as parents are worried about knowing more details as to how having EQ would lead to success. Here are a few ways in which EQ proves to be the best asset for everyone.

  • Higher EQ is linked to higher IQ as well.

Research has shown that the kids who secured higher grades in SAT and other standardized tests have higher emotional intelligence. They also tend to get higher grades through school and college. Research showed this excellence because when children can manage their emotions/feelings better, they can avoid unnecessary stress on them.

  • Better Relationships:

People with high EQ are typically observed to have a healthier lifestyle and also better relationships. If the child has high EQ, he is more likely to develop deeper relationships, which will help him in his future life. He will also have a good lifestyle.

  • Improved Mental Health:

People with higher EQ are less likely to undergo depression and other mental health issues. And they can work in the competitive world with relative ease compared to the others. That means they would undergo little or no stress compared to those with less EQ.

Tips to raise an Emotionally Intelligent Child.

We can start teaching emotions at any age to the child, though it’s better to start early so that he can grasp them quickly. But it’s never late, and we can teach our child at any point in time. The following are a few tips for raising an emotionally intelligent child. They require a lot more time and effort from the parent’s side. But trust me; this investment will never go to waste, as we are trying to teach emotional intelligence to our children.

1. Label Emotions:

Start teaching children how to label their various emotions, which are both positive and negative. Many books are available in the market for kids to discuss different emotions. Apart from reading these books to the children, discussing the characters’ feelings in the book really helps the child label their emotions. Asking questions like

If you were in that character’s position, I guess you would be really mad??? That will be so frustrating, isn’t it? Would you like to discuss the reasons for your anger?

instead of shutting the child’s feelings would make him aware of his feelings, and he would start taking positive actions in that direction. Also, as parents, we need to role model how we manage our emotions in front of our children.

How to raise an Emotionally Intelligent Child

2. Recognize the emotions in others

While going for a walk or going anywhere outside, we can show different people and their postures. We can then discuss the emotions that other people are experiencing. And if they are your friends, we can go over to them and talk to them directly about their emotions.

Look at Pam; her body is slumped. Maybe she is tired or sad.

3. Discuss the impact of your child’s actions on others.

Whenever your child behaves in a socially inappropriate way, instead of scolding or punishing him, just sit down and discuss with him the impact of his actions on others. This will help him understand the emotions in others better and

How do you think Bob felt after you said those words? What would you have felt when someone else said the same thing to you?

4. Initiate Problem Solving:

Once your child understands the pain caused by his reaction to others. We need to talk with him about how he can correct it for them. Please remember that let it not be a lecturing session for them. Let them come up with the solution on their own. Don’t force them to say sorry or apologize to the other kid. The kids have to come out with a solution on their own.

The other person might be suffering due to some other reason as well. But we can try and help him as much as possible. That way, the child will understand that all are fortunate like us. We need to help the less fortunate people as much as possible.

5. Discuss the social issues:

Discuss the social issues that are plaguing us. Create awareness of the issues and problems around us. So that the children can come up with unique solutions for these problems. Let the children take a call about how they can control or minimize these issues.

The above-mentioned are simple yet very effective tips for raising a self-confident child who can navigate through all the tricky situations that life poses with relative ease. Please let us know what else you are following to make your child a more emotionally intelligent child.

Tips to raise an Emotionally Intelligent Child

Suhasini, IP, is the Author of the book “Practical Tips for Kids Mental Health.” As a certified kids and parents life coach, she helps/guides you toward a happy family life for your kids. She firmly believes that “Emotionally Happy Kids of today are the Mentally Strong and Happy Citizens of tomorrow.” Let’s make the world a happy and beautiful place for our kids to thrive.


  1. In our era, growing up, noone really brought up the topic of emotional quotient which is sad really because it is a major part of a person’s developmental curve

    1. True Roshan. Also in our time, we learned most of the emotional management from our cousins and siblings, as we used to live in a joint family. Even in nuclear families, most of the cousins and siblings used to meet during vacations and spend time together. But nowadays, vacations are meant to learning a new skill or going to a fancy resort with family. Where is the time for the kids to mingle with each other?

  2. Much needed to pic..u have addressed it so well. EQ is the need of the hour..i had recently written about empathy which is lacking totally.

    1. Well said Harjeet. Empathy is one word I think the parents should first understand before even thinking of teaching it to the kids. ?

  3. You have brought such a great pointers to raise an emotionally intelligent child. Glad someone discussed about it else the whole world is talks about IQs most of the time, little did they know that EQ and IQ both are interconnected!

    1. With the pandemic and lockdown EQ in kids is being tested even more now. Empathy and respect for other’s emotions are so important to learn about.

      1. Well said Varsha, thank you for dropping by

    2. Thank you Archana. Yes, we really are in a very unfortunate situation as we think only the materialistic success as the success in life, and in this whole process we are loosing touch with our own emotions

  4. I love how you first explain the why and then the how. Emotional quotient is the need of the hour. Loving your series totally
    Deepika Sharma

  5. Salient points especially in a time when emotions stand in need of curation.

    1. Yes Tom, I think its the time we wake up to our emotions and sensitivity, so that we will not become robots in future.

  6. Teaching kids to recognize and express their emotions in healthy ways is very important these days. If a child recognize, manage and understands emotions at early age, it will certainly help them in growing years. You have explained it well with all the tips and benefits of EQ in children.

    1. Thank you Pragun. Yes, Emotional Intelligence is very much the need of the hour both for parents as well as kids

  7. Some very apt pointers out here. It takes a lot of patience and hard work to imbibe the right values in our kids. Making them aware of the importance of emotions is certainly very crucial. I just realized that even though I like to do it more often, for some reason, I skip talking about social issues many times. Loved this post of yours!!

    1. Thank you Navita. Yes, it takes a lot of patience and time from the parents side to inculcate all these in children

  8. Quite insightful honestly, you made me reflect buddy, emotional intelligence is so very vital, good work, keep it up

    1. Thank you Roma. With encouragement from people like you all, I think I can sail through this A2Z.

  9. You are sharing all of my favorite topic. yes EQ is most important aspect of kids development. all tips are so apt. I believe it is very important to teach EQ to young kids as well. this create a strong foundation for their future by building self awareness .

    1. Yeah Surbhi, that’s, why we are connected as friends, can read each other’s mind. ?

  10. Being an EQ coach myself I completely agree with all the pointers mentioned by you. This is the key for every human being to be happy and successful at the same time.

    1. Wow, thats a news Swati. I never knew that you are an EQ coach. I started working in this area only since last september.

  11. I agree that the emotional quotient of the children should be given importance especially in the era when the new generation thinks mechanically.

    1. Thank you Aditi, yes thats the reason why we need to take care of their EQ as well.

  12. I love the pointers listed to raise the child. Such a detailed post

    1. I loved all th point . It is very important to teach kids empathy and it is lacking these days

  13. EQ as a concept has really taken off in the past few years. We need to pay attention to it for the future well being of our children

    1. Thank you Harshita. Yes, EQ has come into craze only recently.

  14. Yes! EQ is equally important as IQ. I’ll definitely try to follow the tips as mentioned by you. My lo is 2 years old and I keep on sharing the words like her positive, negative, happy and sad etc. just to make her aware about the emotions.

  15. I loved how you said not to make them say sorry or thanks instantly. I loved the fact that you have put in so much effort into EQ development.

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