This is the ninth episode of the ASK A FRIEND series. This episode discusses the kid’s most ignored but irritating behavior. Kids often whine during transition stages from toddlers to tweens and sometimes even teens. And whatever we do, this whining habit doesn’t go that easily. Hence, this episode, “How to handle your whining child,” provides the underlying reasons for their whining habit and the solutions to cure the kids of whining.
Kids remember that when they were infants, we met all their needs whenever they cried, isn’t it true?
Simplified Parenting & Emotionally Healthy Child Show
Tune into the podcast episode (either in Telugu or English) on the embedded player here now, or listen to it on any of your favorite podcast platforms. If reading is your forte, scroll down for the show’s transcript.
Podcast in English
If this is your first time here, I request you to subscribe to the Simplified Parenting with Emotionally Healthy Children podcast show on your favorite platform. Ratings and subscriptions allow the show to be discovered by more listeners.
If you like to listen to this podcast in the Telugu language, here is my second podcast show in Telugu for the same episode.
Podcast in Telugu
If you like listening to my Telugu podcast, I request you to subscribe to the Parents tho okka chinna mata podcast show on your favorite platform. Ratings and subscriptions allow the show to be discovered by more listeners.
Transcript for the Episode “How to Handle Your Whining Child?”
Hello Friends, welcome back to the ASK A FRIEND SERIES in the Simplified Parenting and Emotionally Healthy Child Podcast show. I am your host Suhasini from Mommyshravmusings.
Today let’s discuss another important yet most ignored trait kids exhibit. This problem gets on the nerves of the parents. And as a result, sometimes the child may get one or two slaps either in verbal or physical form. By now, I think you would have guessed what’s the issue I am going to discuss, right?
It’s whining – how many of you would agree that the continuous whining of kids gets on your nerves and irritates you? So you might be wondering why even after providing everything, your kid keeps whining. Why can’t they talk in a normal voice?
I also agree with you, as whenever my boy uses that tone continuously, I get irritated. But I understand that there is an underlying need for connection and reinforcement of love that my kid needs at that moment, and it’s not about the unmet needs like buying that toy or taking that additional round in the park.
As per child psychology experts, the kids whine to get our attention. That’s because they don’t know how to get our attention. When they were infants, we met all their needs whenever they cried, right? So that got imprinted in their minds, and they resorted to whining to grab our attention.
We, as parents, are the busiest creatures in the world. We juggle so many tasks. So giving undistracted time to our children and pampering them with love and attention goes to the bottom of our list. Though not intentionally, but due to the lack of time and misplaced priorities.
Hence the underlying reasons for the continuous whining of kids are basically.
- Validation (that we are there to hear/understand their feelings)
- Connection (that we are there to love them for whatever they are)
- Regulating their emotions (we are there to teach them how to ask in a positive manner rather than whining or throwing tantrums)
- And lastly, a minor correction depending on the situation or the need of the child at that moment
Once we have clarity on why the kids whine, it’s easier to look for remedial actions from our end.
Before the whining snowballs and gets on our nerves, we must stay calm and look deeper into why the child is whining. What is their unmet need?
Then, Validate their feelings with a calm and composed voice. Tell them you will not give in to their demands and ask them to keep moving. In most circumstances, kids only want you to understand their feelings. They will move into another zone once you know their feelings.
But some strong-willed children will not move on but will keep continuing this whining trend. The same is the case with my child. He will remain there for a while if he gets stuck in a single moment. So the best at that moment is not to interact with him.
We provide him a final warning saying that if he wants to whine or crib about that particular instance, he can feel free to do so, but we will not hear him and will ignore him for a while. And we are there for him whenever he is ready for a decent conversation.
This allows him to chill and come out of his whining mood. Sometimes, it would happen in a few moments; sometimes, it would take longer. But he knows that we are there for him. Discussing and trying to reason with him during this whining mood will only prolong this discussion, and he will continue whining. So ignoring the whining with prior warning and providing positive attention when that whining tide subsides is the best option for a strong-willed child.
I hope you liked today’s topic. Please do share your comments. If you like these episodes, don’t forget to share them with your friends and subscribe to the show on your favorite podcast platforms.
And also, my dear friends, there is an announcement about the forthcoming episodes. From now onwards, these podcast episodes will be released on Tuesdays and Fridays of every week. Thanks for supporting me.
